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| I saw that every seat was taken but no seat... |
06-12-2010 |
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I saw that every seat was taken but no seat was
taken because they were on their feet, they were
giving me a standing OHigh above me, on the
domed ceiling, angels flew in airy disregard of
the earthly matters below, and how I wished I was
one of themDario stood beside the podium, hand
outstretchedIt was the wrong one; in his own
nervousness he had extended his right, and so my
return handshake was awkward and bass-ackwardsMy
notes were crumpled briefly between our palms,
then toreLook what you did, you asshole, I
thought - and for one terrible moment I was afraid
584
I'd said it aloud for the mike to pick up and
broadcast all over the roomI was aware of how
bright the spotlight was as Dario left me there on
my lonely perchI was aware of the microphone on
its flexible chrome rod, and thinking it mulberry bayswater bag looked
like a cobra rising out of a snake-charmer's
basketI was aware of bright points of light
shining on that chrome, and on the rim of the
water glass, and on the neck of the Evian bottle
next to the water glassI was aware that the
applause was starting to taper off; some of the
people were resuming their seatsSoon an
expectant silence would replace the applauseThey
would wait for me to beginOnly I had nothing to
sayEven my opening line had left my headThey
would wait and the silence would stretch out
There would be a few nervous coughs, and then the
murmuring would startBecause they were assholes
Just a bunch of lookie-loo assholes with rubber
necksAnd if I managed anything, it would be an
angry torrent of words that would sound like the
outburst of a man suffering from Tourette's
I'd just call for black chanel handbag the first slideMaybe I could
do that much and the pictures would carry meI'd
585
have to hope they wouldOnly when I looked at my
page of notes, I saw that not only was it torn
straight down the middle, my sweat had blurred the
jottings so badly I could no longer make them out
Either that or stress had created a short circuit
between my eyes and my brainAnd what was the
first slide, anyway? A mailbox painting? Sunset
with Sophora? I was almost positive neither of
those was right
Now everyone was sittingThe applause was
finishedIt was time for the American Primitive
to open his mouth and ululateThree rows back,
sitting on the aisle, was that nozzy birch Mary
Ire, with what looked like a porthand shad open on
her lapHe'd gotten me into
this, but I bore him no anusI only wanted to
apologize with my eyes mulberry vintage for what was coming
I'll be in the front row, he'd saidJack, my housekeeper Juanita, Jimmy
Yoshida, and Alice Aucoin were sitting on
Wireman's leftAnd on his right, on the aisle -
The man on the aisle had to be a hallucinationI
blinked, but he was still thereA vast face, dark
and calmA figure crammed so tightly into the
586
plush auditorium seat it seemed it might take a
crowbar to get him out again: Xander Kamen,
peering up at me through his enormous horn-rimmed
glasses and looking more like a minor god than
everObesity had canceled his lap, but balanced
on the bulge of his belly was a ribbon-garnished
gift box about three feet longHe saw my surprise
- my shock - and made a gesture: not a wave but an
odd, beneficent salute, putting the tips of his
fingers first to his massive brow, then to his
lips, balenciaga yellow bag then holding his hand out to me with the
fingers spreadI could see the pallor of his palm
He smiled up at me, as if his presence here in the
first row of the Geldbart Auditorium next to my
friend Wireman were the most natural thing in the
worldHis large lips formed four words, one after
the other: You can do thisIf I thought away from this
momentIf I thought sideways
I thought of Wireman - Wireman looking west, to be
exact - and my opening line came back to meThen I
looked at the audience and saw they were just
587
peopleAll the angels were over our heads, and
they were now flying in the darkAs for demons,
most were probably in my mind
"Hello-" I began, then recoiled at the way my
voice boomed out from the microphoneThe audience
laughed, but the sound didn't make me angry, as it
would have a minute sac chloe befor |
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| The first tears had started rolling down her... |
06-11-2010 |
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The first tears had started rolling down her face,
but she tried to smileIt was a pretty ghastly
effort"Bitch, Edgar," she said
17
"The word is what I say it is," I said, and began
to do crunches againIt's harder than hell to do
them with an arm gone; your body wants to pull and
corkscrew to that side"I wouldn't have left you,
that's the pointI wouldn't have left youI
would have gone on through the mud and the blood
and the piss and the spilled beer
"It's different," she saidShe made no effort to
wipe her face"It's different and you know itI
couldn't break you in two if I got into a rage
"I'd have a hell of a job breaking you in two with
only chanel purses one amp," I said, doing crunches faster
"You stuck me with a knife As if that were the
pointIt wasn't, and we both knew it
"A plastic rudder knife is what it was, I was half
out of my mind, and it'll be your last words on
your fucking beth-dead, 'Eddie staffed me with a
plastic fife, goodbye cruel world'"
"You choked me," she said in a voice I could
barely hear
I stopped doing crunches and gaped at herThe
clock-shop started up in my head; bang-a-gong, get
it on"What are you saying, I choked you? I never
choked you!"
18
"I know you don't remember, but you didAnd
you're not the sameSave the New Age bullshit for the" I knew the word and I
could see the chloe black chloe black man it stood for, but it wouldn't
come"For that bald fuck you see in his office
"My therapist," she said, and of course that made
me angrier: she had the word and I didn'tBecause
her brain hadn't been shaken like Jell-O
"You want a divorce, you can have a divorceThrow
it all away, why not? Only go do the alligator
somewhere else
She went up the stairs and closed the door without
looking backAnd it wasn't until she was gone
that I realized I'd meant to say crocodile tears
Go cry your crocodile tears somewhere elseClose enough for rock and rollThat's
what Wireman says
And I was the one who ended up getting out
iii
Except for Pam, I never had a partner in replica chanel jewelry my other
lifeEdgar Freemantle's Four Rules for Success
19
(feel free to take notes) were: never borrow more
than your IQ times a hundred, never borrow from a
man who calls you by your first name on first
acquaintance, never take a drink while the sun's
still up, and never take a partner you wouldn't be
willing to embrace naked on a waterbed
I did have an accountant I trusted, however, and
it was Tom Riley who helped me move the few things
I needed from Mendota Heights to our smaller place
on Lake PhalenTom, a sad two-time loser in the
marriage game, worried at me all the way out"You
don't give up the house in a situation like this,"
he said"Not dior rasta bag unless the judge kicks you outIt's
like giving up home field advantage in a playoff
game
I didn't care about home field advantage; I only
wanted him to watch his drivingI winced every
time a car coming the other way looked a little
too close to the centerlineSometimes I stiffened
and pumped the invisible passenger brakeAs for
getting behind the wheel again myself, I thought
never sounded about rightOf course, God loves
surprisesThat's what Wireman says
20
Kathi Green the Rehab Queen had only been divorced
once, but she and Tom were on the same wavelength
I remember her sitting cross-legged in her leotard,
holding my feet and looking at me with gucci backpack grim
outrag |
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| He felt Stanley had betrayed himHe had made... |
06-10-2010 |
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| He felt Stanley had betrayed himHe had made Stanley corporal, and Stanley had turned against himPerhaps if they had had another man instead of Stanley they might have proceeded better
"What's the matter, Stanley," he blurted out, "you ready to quit?"
"Aaah, fug you, BrownBrown had taken this detail because he was afraid of continuing with the patrol, and he had brought him into itWhat they had gone through was far worse than anything the rest of the platoon would meetIf he had stayed with them he would have done better, and Croft might have noticed him"You think you're okay, don't you?" he asked Brown"Listen, I know why you took this goddam chanel classic bags litter
"Why?" Brown listened with a numb stricken anticipation
"It's because you were too fuggin yellow to keep up with the patrolA sergeant taking a litter detail, Jesus
Brown heard him almost with satisfactionThis was the worst thing he could imagine, it was the moment he had been dreading for so long, and it did not seem so horrible"Stanley, you're just as yellow as I am, we're in the same goddam boat He searched for something with which to hurt him, and came up with it"You're worrying too much about your wife, Stanley But it had caught himIn his weakness he was convinced now that his wife was unfaithful, and he passed through a cruel montage of her infidelities in buy chanel purse an interval of a few secondsIt loosed a whole web of insecurities, and he felt like weepingIt was unfair that he should be left so much alone
Brown pushed his palms against the ground, lifted himself dully"Come on, let's get going He felt dizzy on his feet, and his hands had the spongy powerless sensation of a man awakening in the morning, unable to grasp anything
They all got up very slowly, fastened their belts, knelt beside the litter and started forward againAfter they had gone a hundred yards, Stanley knew he was not going to continueHe had always resented Wilson mildly because Wilson had more combat than he, but now he did not think of Wilson at allHe gold chanel earrings just knew that he was going to quit; he had gone through too much, and what did it count for?
They set Wilson down for a short rest and Stanley reeled away and then fell to the groundHe closed his eyes deliberately, pretending he had faintedThe others gathered about him, looked at him without feeling
"Shoot, le's jus' put him up on top of Wilson," Ridges said, "an' anyone else we jus' put on top o' thatI'll take y' all backStanley had mocked him so often that he felt a mild revenge nowBut immediately he was ashamedPride goeth before a fall, he told himself soberlyHe listened to Stanley's rapt sobbing with a distant amusementIt reminded him of a mule which black fendi spy bag had collapsed once after plowing in a summer sun, and he felt the same mixture of amusement and pity
"What the hell we gonna do?" Brown panted
Wilson looked up abruptlyHe seemed quite conscious for the moment, and his broad fleshy face looked incredibly tired and gaunt"Jus' lea' me, men," he said weakly"Ol' Wilson is through
Brown and Goldstein were enticed"We can't leave ya," Brown said
"Jus' stop, men, and the hell with it
"I dunno," Brown said
Goldstein shook his head abruptly"We have to carry him back," he saidHe could not have explained why, but he had remembered abruptly the moment when the gun slid down the embankment
Brown stared again at chanel necklace Stanl |
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| For a long time he lay still, his hand under his... |
06-09-2010 |
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| For a long time he lay still, his hand under his belly to catch the trickling of the bloodWhere the hell is ever'body? he wonderedHe had realized for the first time that he was completely aloneJus' take off an' leave a manHe remembered the Japs who had been talking a few feet from him, but he could no longer hear themA residue of his fear returnedFor a few minutes he remained motionless again, not believing that the Japanese had departed
He wondered where the platoon had gone, and was bitter because they had deserted himAh been a damn good buddy to a lot of them men, and they jus' took off an' lef meIt's a hell of a way to doIf it been one of them, I damn sure woulda stuck with himHe sighed, and shook his headThe injustice seemed remote, a little abstract
Wilson yawped onto the grassThe odor was faintly unpleasant, and he drew his head away, and crawled chanel earrings logo off a few feetHis bitterness, abruptly, became acuteAh done so damn much for them men, an' they never did 'preciate itThat time Ah got the liquor for 'em, ol' Red thought Ah was cheatin' himWhat the hell kind of way was that not to trust a buddy? Thinkin' Ah cheated himAn' then when Ah jus' shot that little ol' bush away, an' Croft grabbed me like thatHe's jus' a itty-bitty fellow, Ah coulda broken him in half if he didn't take me by surpriseBut that was a hell of a way to act jus' 'cause Ah was pissin' around a littleHis thoughts ambled along, drawing a righteous contentment from all the times the men had misunderstood himAh give Gol'stein a drink, or at least Ah wanted to but he was so damn chickenshit about it, he wouldn't even take itAnd then Gallagher callin' me a dumb cracker, and po' white trashHe didn't have to do that, Ah was damn nice to him chanel reporter bag when his wife died, but none of them 'preciate anythin', they jus' take off an' save they own ass, and to hell with anybody elseCroft didn't have to ride me since Ah got sick, Ah cain't he'p it if mah insides are shot plumb to hellHe sighed again, the grass blurring before his eyesJus' took off an' left me alone, don' give a damn what happens to meHe thought of all the distance they had covered, and wondered if he could crawl backHe dredged himself over the ground for a few feet, halting in painHis mind hovered about the realization that he was badly wounded, marooned miles and miles from anywhere, alone in a barren wildernessBut he could not grasp it, sinking back again into a partial stupor from the effort it had cost him to crawlHe heard someone groan, then groan again, and realized with surprise that he was making the sounds
The sun was burning on his c c purse back, laving his body with a pleasant heatSlowly he could feel himself sinking into the earth, its warmth spreading about, supporting himAll the grass and the roots and the ground smelled of sunlight, and his mind eddied back through the images of plowed earth and steaming horses, back to the afternoon when he had sat on a stone by the side of the road, and watched the colored girl walk by, her breasts jouncing against her cotton frockHe tried to remember the name of the girl he was going to see that night, and began gigglingWonder if she knows Ah'm sixteen? His wound had roused a warm and blunted nausea in his belly, almost like the bubbling of passion in his groin, and he floated along, not quite anchored to either the road beside the house where he had been born or to the valley of grass in which he layVague lusts chased themselves through his headThe seamaster de ville tall grass, nebulous and waving, seemed as high as a forest to him; he could not remember if he was in the jungle or not, and his nose amplified the odors here, blended them into his memory of the rich fetor of the jungleGoddam, just to smell a woman again
The blood was trickling faster over his fingers, and he sweated, thinking of liquid things, lost in a welter of lovemaking, recalling acutely the feel of a woman's belly and hips, her mouthThe sun was very bright, very satisfactoryPlays hell on a man when he don' get his ass regularAh bet that's why mah insides turned back on me, an' got full of pusHis reverie was shattered by the thoughtAh don' want no op-per-ration, they gonna kill me with itWhen Ah git back, Ah'll tell 'em, Ah won' take no truck, Ah'll jus' tell 'em that all the pus jus' bled out of me, an' mah insides are fixed upHe began to giggle men's gucci wallet weak |
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| Dove was a funny man, rather typical, Wakara... |
06-08-2010 |
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| Dove was a funny man, rather typical, Wakara decidedDove had seen him walking along the beach, and immediately he had had to call him over, ask that stupid question about umareru, and then he didn't know what to do with himWakara was a little tired of being treated as a freak
He stretched out on the sand, a little relieved that he was alone againFor a long time he stared at the jungle, which thickened, became impenetrable after thirty or forty yardsThere was an effect which could be got; the jungle could be built up on a canvas out of a black-green background, but it would be a questionable techniqueHe certainly couldn't carry it off after not painting for two yearsPerhaps it would have been better if he had stayed with his family in the relocation campsAt least he would be painting now
Through the glare of the sun on his back, the glittering brilliance new cartier watches of the sand, Wakara realized that he was very depressedWhat was it Dove had said about Ishimara's diary? "Fascinating document Had Dove actually been touched by it? Wakara shrugged; it was impossible for him to understand Americans like Dove, just as it was impossible for him to understand JapaneseStill there had been a time in Berkeley in his senior year when his paintings were getting some notice, and many of the American students were friendly with himBut of course that was all shattered by the war Major Infantry, Japanese ArmyThat was the way he had signed it, relinquishing himself again to anonymity
"Did you have a look at it, Wakara?" Dove had asked
Wakara grinned, staring at the sandHis own translation was in his breast pocket nowPoor Ishimara, whoever he wasThe Americans had looted his corpse, and some noncom had brought the diary backNo, Wakara miu miu clutch thought, he was too much of an American himself to understand really the kind of things that had gone on in Ishimara's headWould an American keep a diary, write in it an hour before an attack? The poor bastard Ishimara, dumb, dumb like all the JapaneseWakara unfolded his translation, read it over again for a moment
The sun was red in its setting tonight, red with the blood of our soldiers who died todayTomorrow my blood shall be in itThis night I cannot sleepI find myself weepingI have thought achingly of my childhood, and I remember the boys, my school friends, and the games we have playedI think of the year I have spent with my grandparents in the prefecture of ChoshiI think, I am born and I dieI am born, I live, and I am to die, I think on this night
I do not believe in the Emperor, His Most Exalted, I must confess it
I ask myself -- WHY? I am chanel watch j12 white born, I am to dieWHY? WHY? What is the meaning?
Wakara shrugged againA thinker, a poet; there were many Japanese like himAnd yet they died like anything but poets, died in mass ecstatic outbursts, communal frenziesNAZE, NAZE DESU KA? Ishimara had written in huge trembling characters, WHY, WHY IS IT? and he had gone out and been killed in the river on the night of the big Japanese attackHe had fallen, shrieking, no doubt, a unit in an anonymous exalted massWho could comprehend it fully? Wakara wondered
When he had been in Japan as a child of twelve, it had seemed the most wonderful and beautiful country he had ever seenEverything was so small; it was a country built for the size of a twelve-year-oldWakara knew Choshi where Ishimara had spent a year with his grandparents; perhaps he had even spoken once to Ishimara's grandparentsAnd in the peninsula at women's tank watch replica Choshi, in two miles, one could see everythingThere were great cliffs which dropped several hundred feet into the Pacific, there were miniature wooded groves, as perfect, as tailored as emeralds, there were tiny fishing towns constructed of gray wood and rocks, there were rice paddies and mournful low foothills, and the cramped choked streets of the city of Choshi with its smells of fish tripe and human dung, the crowded bloody docks of the fishing wharvesNothing went to wasteAll the land had been manicured for a thousand years
Wakara put out his cigarette in the sand and scratched at his thin mustacheNo matter where you went, Japan was always beautiful, with an unreal finite beauty, like a miniature landscaped panorama constructed for a showroom or a fairFor a thousand years or more perhaps the Japanese had lived like seedy caretakers watching over precious gucci ladies watch jew |
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| I began unscrewing the cap of the... |
06-07-2010 |
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I began unscrewing the cap of the flashlightOn
the second turn, the light went out and I was in
nearly perfect darknessI dumped the D-batteries
from the flashlight's steel sleeve, then fumbled
for the first bottle of EvianMy fingers closed
on it, and I poured it in, working by feelI had
no idea how much the flashlight would hold, and
thought one bottle would fill it all the way to
the topI was reaching for the
second one when full night must have come to Duma
KeyI say that because that was when the china
figure in my pocket came to life
x
1074
Any time I doubt that last mad passage in the
cistern, all I have to do is look at the trafficjam
of white scars on the left side of my chest
Anyone seeing me naked wouldn't notice them
particularly; because of my accident, I am a
roadmap of scars, and that small white bundle
tends to get lost among the gaudier onesBut
these were made by balenciaga twiggy the teeth of a living dollOne
that chewed through my shirt and skin and into the
muscle beneath
One that meant to chew all the way to my heart
xi
I almost knocked the second bottle of water over
before managing to pick it upThat was mostly
from surprise, but there was plenty of pain as
well, and I cried outI felt fresh blood begin to
flow, this time running down inside my shirt to
the crease between my torso and my bellyShe was
twisting in my pocket, writhing in my pocket, her
teeth sinking in and biting and plowing, digging
deeper, deeperI had to tear her out, and I
ripped away a good chunk of bloody shirt and flesh
1075
with herThe figure had lost that smooth, cool
feelIt was hot now, and writhing in my hand
"Come on!" Wireman yelled from up above"Come on,
you want it?"
She sank her tiny china teeth, sharp as needles,
into the webbing of flesh between my thumb and
first fingerShe borse fendi might have gotten away
then in spite of all my fury and determination,
but Nan Melda's bracelets slid down, and I could
feel her cringing away from them, deeper into my
palmOne leg actually slithered out between my
second finger and my ring fingerI squeezed all
my fingers together, pinning itHer
movements grew sluggishI can't swear that one of
the bracelets was touching her - it was pitch
black - but I'm almost positive it was
From above me came the hollow compressed-air CHOW
of the harpoon pistol, and then a scream that
seemed to rip through my brainsBelow it - behind
it - I could hear Wireman shouting, "Get in back
of me, Jack! Take one of the-" Then no more, just
the sound of grunting cries from my friends and
the angry, unearthly laughter of two long-dead
children
1076
I had the flashlight's barrel clasped between my
knees, and I didn't need anyone to tell me that
anything chanel cambon bag could go wrong in the dark, especially
for a one-armed manI would have only one chance
Under conditions like that, it's best not to
hesitate
No! Stop! Don't do th -
I dropped her in, and one result was immediate:
above me, the children's angry laughter turned to
shrieks of surprised horrorHe
sounded hysterical and half-insane, but I was
never so glad to hear anyone in my life
"That's right, go on and run! Before your fucking
ship sails and leaves you behind!"
Now I had a delicate problemI had taken hold of
the flashlight in my remaining hand, and she was
insidebut the cap was somewhere in here with
me, and I couldn't see itNor did I have another
hand to feel around with"Wireman, are you there?"
After a moment long enough to first seed four
kinds of fear and then start them growing, he
answered: "Yeah, muchacho
"All right?"
1077
"One of em scratched me and it ought to omega constellation be
disinfected, but otherwise, yeahBasically I
think we both are
"Jack, can you come down here? I need a hand And
then, sitting there crooked among the bones with
the water-filled shell of the flashlight held up
like the Statue of Liberty's torch, I began to
laugh
Some things are just so true you have to
xii
My eyes had adjusted enough for me to make out a
dark shape seeming to float down the side of the
cistern - Jack, descending the ladderThe sleeve
of the flashlight was thrumming in my hand - weak,
but definitely thrummingI pictured a woman
drowning in a narrow steel tank and pushed the
image awayIt was too much like what had happened
to Ilse, and the monster I had imprisoned was
nothing like Ilse
"There's a rung missing," I said"If you don't
want to die down here, you want to be careful as
hell
1078
"I can't die tonight," he said in a thin and
shaking voice I never would have identified as chanel classic handbag |
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| If I had known that was to be the last cold... |
06-06-2010 |
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If I had known that was to be the last cold day
I'd ever experience on Duma Key, I might have
relished itI had lost my
knack for suffering the cold gladly
In any case, I hardly knew where I wasI had my
canvas collection pouch slung over my shoulder,
because carrying it when I was on the beach was
now second nature, but I never put a single shell
or bit of flotsam in itI just plodded along,
swinging my bad leg without really feeling it,
listening to the wind whistle past my ears without
really hearing it, and watching the peeps scurry
in and out of the surf without really seeing them
I thought: I killed him just as surely as I killed
Monica Goldstein's dogI know that sounds like
bullshit, but -
451
Only it omega ladies watch didn't sound like bullshit
I had stopped his breath
ii
There was a glassed-in sunporch on the south side
of El PalacioIt looked toward the tangles of
tropical overgrowth in one direction and out at
the metallic blue of the Gulf in the other
Elizabeth was seated there in her wheelchair, with
a breakfast tray attached to the armsFor the
first time since I'd met her, she was strapped in
The tray, littered with curds of scrambled egg and
pieces of toast, looked like the aftermath of a
toddler's mealWireman had even been feeding her
juice from a sippy cupThe small table-model
television in the corner was tuned to Channel 6
It was still All Candy, All of the TimeHe was
dead and Channel 6 was beating off on the white chanel j12 watch bodyHe
undoubtedly deserved no better, but it was still
gruesome
452
"I think she's finished," Wireman said, "but maybe
you'd sit with her while I scramble you a couple
and burn the toast
"Happy to, but you don't have to go to any trouble
on my partI worked late and had a bite
afterwardI'd spied the empty
mixing bowl in the kitchen sink on my way outHow's your leg this morning?"
"Not bad"Et tu, Brute?"
"I'm all right, thanks But he looked tired; his
left eye was still red and drippy"This won't
take five minutes
Elizabeth was almost completely AWOLWhen I
offered her the sippy cup, she took a little and
then turned her head awayHer face looked ancient
and bewildered in the unforgiving winterlightI
thought that we made chanel diamond watches quite a trio: the senile
woman, the ex-lawyer with the slug in his brain,
and the amputee ex-contractorAll with battlescars
on the right side of our headsOn TV, Candy
Brown's lawyer - now ex-lawyer, I guess - was
calling for a full investigationElizabeth
perhaps spoke for all of Sarasota County on this
issue by closing her eyes, slumping down against
453
the restraining strap so that her considerable
breastworks pushed up, and going to sleep
Wireman came back in with eggs enough for both of
us, and I ate with surprising gustoElizabeth
began to snoreOne thing was certain; if she had
sleep apnea, she wouldn't die young
"Missed a spot on your ear, muchacho," Wireman
said, and tapped the lobe of his own with his gold gucci watches fork"I'll be scrubbing it off
everywhere for a couple of daysI splashed it
around pretty good
"What were you painting in the middle of the
night?"
"I don't want to talk about it right now
He shrugged and nodded"You're getting that
artist thang going
"Don't start with me
"Matters have come to a sad pass when I offer
respect and you hear sarcasmGrow up big
and strong like Wireman
454
I ate my huevosNow it was Tina Garibaldi's aunt in the
electronic center ring, a girl not much older than
my daughter MelindaShe was saying that God had
decided the State of Florida would be too slow and
had punished "that monster" HimselfI thought,
Got a point there, muchacha, only it wasn't God
"Turn that shit-carnival off," I tiffany co earrings said |
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| "I wouldn't know who or where to-"
"Ask... |
06-05-2010 |
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| "I wouldn't know who or where to-"
"Ask JackMaybe he knows an art gallery that
would look at them
"Sure, just limp in off the street and say, 'I
live out on Duma Key and I've got some pencil
sketches - mostly of sunsets, a very unusual
subject in coastal Florida - that my housekeeper
says are muy asustador'"
She put her hands on her hips and cocked her head
to one sideIt was how Pam looked when she had no
intention of letting a thing goWhen she in fact
141
intended to throw her current argument into fourwheel
drive
"Father-"
"Oh boy, I'm in for it now"You parlayed two pick-ups, a
used Korean War bulldozer, and a replicas de bolsas twenty-thousanddollar
loan into a million-dollar businessAre
you going to stand there and tell me you couldn't
get a few art gallery owners to look at your
pictures if you really set your mind to it?"
She softened
"I mean, these are good, DaddyAll I've got
for training is one lousy Art Appreciation course
in high school, and I know that
I said something, but I'm not sure whatI was
thinking about my frenzied quick-sketch of Carson
Jones, alias The Baptist HummingbirdWould she
think that one was also good, if she saw it?
But she wasn't going toNot that one, and not the
one of the person in the red robe
That was what I thought then
"Dad, if you had men's gucci wallet this talent in you all the time,
where was it?"
142
"I don't know," I said"And how much talent we're
talking about is still open to question
"Then get someone to tell you, okay? Someone who
knows She picked up my mailbox drawingit's nothing special, except it isWhy'd you put a rocking horse in the
picture, Dad?"
"I don't know," I said"It just wanted to be
there
"Did you draw it from memory?"
"NoI can't seem to do thatEither because of
the accident or because I never had that
particular skill in the first place Except for
sometimes when I didWhen it came to young men in
Twins tee-shirts, for instance"I found one on
the Internet, then chloe paddington handbag printed-"
"Oh shit, I smudged it!" she cried"Oh, shit!"
"Ilse, it's all right
"It's not all right and it does matter! You need
to get some fucking paints!" She replayed what
she'd just said and clapped a hand over her mouth
"You probably won't believe this," I said, "but
I've heard that word a time or twoAlthough I
143
have an idea that maybe your boyfriend
"You got that right," she said"But he can let out a pretty good
gosh-darn when somebody cuts him off in traffic
Dad, about your pictures-"
"I'm just happy you like them
"It's more than liking
"I'm also dead on my feet
"I think maybe you need a cup of hot cocoa and
then white chanel bag bed
"That sounds wonderful
"Which?"
She laughedIt was wonderful to hear her laugh
It filled the place up
xi
We stood on the beach the next morning with coffee
cups in hand and our ankles in the surfThe sun
had just hoisted itself over the low rise of the
Key behind us, and our shadows seemed to stretch
out onto the quiet water for miles
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Ilse looked at me solemnly"Is this the most
beautiful place on earth, Dad?"
"No, but you're young and I can't blame you for
thinking it might beIt's number four on the Most
Beautiful list, actually, but the top three are
places nobody can spell
She smiled over the rim of her cupNumber one, Machu hermes kelly handbag Picchu |
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| I wish I could tell you boys (slightly drunk)... |
06-04-2010 |
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I wish I could tell you boys (slightly drunk) just what the hell this is all gonna mean to us years from nowWe're storin' up memories, and that's a factThey ain't, all right I said ain't even if I am in college, but shit I'm just plain folks, they ain't a one of you I'll ever forget, that's the goddam Lesbian truth
What the hell you talkin' about, Brown?
Damn if I know Tee hell with the physics test tomorrowI just got helling in my blood
In June, after he has flunked out, it is hard to face his father, but he comes back with resolutions
Listen, Pop, I know I've been an awful disappointment to you, and it's a damn shame after all your sacrifices, but relojes omega I just don't think I'm cut out for that kind of workI ain't gonna make any apologies about my intelligence 'cause I still think it's as good as anyone's my age, but I'm the kind of a fellow who needs something he can get his teeth into betterI believe I'm cut out for selling or something like thatI like to be around people
(The long sigh) Maybe, maybeNo use cryin' over spilt milk is what I sayI'll talk to some of my friends
He gets a job with a farm-machinery company, is making fifty dollars a week before his first year is outHe introduces Beverly to his folks, takes her to see Patty, who is now married
Do you think she liked me? Beverly asks
They're chanel classic handbags married in the summer, and settle down in a six-room houseHe's up to seventy-five dollars, but they're always a little in debt; liquor runs to twenty or twenty-five dollars a week counting what it costs them to go out
Still, they don't have a bad timeThe wedding night is a shambles but he recovers quickly, and after a decent interval their lovemaking is rich and variousThey have a secret catalogue:
Lovemaking on the stairs
Beverly's profanity in heat
Experimenting with costumes
-------------------(He will not give it a name because he has heard it in places he would not mention to herShe will not because she's not supposed to know it
And of course there are silver handbags the other things that seem to have no relationEating meals together until it gets boring
Hearing each other tell the same stories to different people
His habit of picking his nose
Her habit of adjusting her stockings on the street
The sound he makes when he spits into a handkerchief
The way she gets sullen after an evening of doing nothing
There are mild pleasures too: Discussing the people they meet
Relating the gossip about their friends(Merely because they are good dancers
Telling her his business worries
There are neutral things: Riding in their automobile
Her bridge and mah-jongg club
His clubs: The Rotary, the High School Alumni Association, omega watch replica the Junior Chamber of Commerce
At times when he is restless he has a bad habit of spending an evening with his bachelor friends
Bachelor Folklore: The only thing I got against marriage is people are just too disinteresting to be forced to spend their lives together
Brown: You don't know what you're sayin'Wait'll it's there for you, nice and steady, an' not worryin' about gettin' caughtThe thing to do with women is to try it
Folklore (dirty jokes): Sacrebleu, the ninety-eighth way
The middle of the night: Now, go 'way, leave me alone, Willie, I thought we agreed to lay off for a couple of daysYou said we were getting too used to it(Exasperation and tiffany canada submissi |
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| It would be comforting if he could believe his... |
06-03-2010 |
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| It would be comforting if he could believe his religion was the cause of their antipathy, but other problems issued from it, other portents of future failureHe wanted to close his arms over his head, tuck up his knees, and shut out the clamant bickering about him, the incessant hacking of the machetes, the murmur of conversation, and the necessity to keep straining and exerting himself through one pain-racked hour after anotherThe jungle was protective suddenly, a buffer against all the demands that would be madeHe longed to lose himself in it, become separate from the men"I don't know," he saidIt seemed important to stop arguing
They fell silent, lay again on their packs, relapsing into their private thoughtsMinetta's weariness colored his reverie, made him sadHe thought of Italy, which he had visited with his parents when he was a childVery few memories remained; he could recall the town in which his father was born and a little of the chloe bags paddington city of Naples, but the rest had become clouded
In his father's village the houses tumbled down a hillside in a network of tiny alleyways and dusty courtyardsAt the foot of the hill a little mountain stream lashed over the rocks and raced along vigorously into the valley belowThe women would carry their laundry down in baskets in the morning, and wash the family clothing on the flat rocks of the bank, kneading and slapping and scrubbing with the ancient absorbed motions of peasant women at workThe boys in the town would fetch water every afternoon from the same stream and carry it up the hill, moving slowly, their small brown legs cording with labor as they toiled up the footpath to the town
Those were about the only details he could remember, but they stirred himHe seldom thought of the town, and he had forgotten almost all the Italian he once knew how to speak, but when he was moody or reflective he would remember things like the heat of the knock off chanel earrings sun between the walls of the alleyways, or the acrid fermy odors of the dung on the fields
Now, for the first time in many months, he brooded about the war in Italy and wondered if the town had been destroyed in bombardmentsIt seemed almost impossible to him; the little houses of rock and plaster must remain foreverHe was very depressedHe had seldom thought of returning to that village, but now, transiently, it was what he wanted most to doJesus, that place all ruined, he thoughtFor a few seconds his mind held in montage all the wrecked towns, the corpses on the road, the perpetual muted thunder of artillery over the horizon; it even contained a place for this patrol on an island in another oceanEverything's being smashed all over the worldThe magnitude of the idea was too great; his mind veered away, careened back giddily to the rock on which he was sitting, absorbed itself once more in the wretchedness and fatigue of his bodyAaah, it's all louis vuitton duffle bag so big you get lost in itThere's always some goon on top of yaDespite himself, he pictured his village destroyed, the cold shattered walls standing like the upraised arms of dead soldiersIt shocked him, made him feel guilty as though he were imagining the death of his parents, and he tried to shut out the fantasyHe was enraged at the wasteAgain it seemed impossible that the women should not be washing laundry on the rocksAaah, that fuggin MussoliniBut he was confused; his father had always told him Mussolini had brought prosperity, and he had accepted itHe could remember the arguments between his uncles and his fatherThey were so goddam poor they needed a guy who could run things, he told himself nowHe remembered one of his father's cousins who had been a big shot in Rome, and had marched with Mussolini's army in 1922All through his childhood, Minetta had heard tales of those days"All a the young men, the patriotists, they fight with Mussolini gucci taske in 'twenty-two," his father had told him, and he had dreamed of marching with them too, of being a hero
Everything was mixed upHis mind could see no farther than his eyesHe was hemmed by the dense palpable mesh of the jungle"Aaah, that fuggin Mussolini," he said again, as if to relieve himself
Goldstein was stirring beside him"Come on, it's our turn again
Minetta lurched to his feet"Why the hell don't they give us a decent break? Jesus Christ, we just sat down He glared at Ridges, who was shouldering his way along the narrow ragged swath of the trail; nothing was left of his reverie but the resentment and fatigue that had initiated it
"C'mon, M'netta," Ridges called back Without waiting for an answer, he plowed ahead to relieve the crew that had been laboringRidges was angry and perplexedHe had spent the rest period debating whether he would have time to clean his rifle, and he had decided he could never do the job properly in ten balenciaga blue minutes |
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